It’s been quite some time since I’ve written. So many ups and downs and a considerable amount of losses have kept me from being myself and distracted me from my writing passion. My current plan is to attempt to blog as much as I possibly can in memoir style about my adult life, as opposed to everything else I’ve written here. The problem is, every time I’ve been planning this over the past couple of years, something has come up to prevent it. I’m hoping that doesn’t happen again.
So far, this year hasn’t been so nice. Well, neither have the prior years, but I’m not getting any younger. Seems to be way more downs than ups, rejections, 180s, you name it. A person can only take so much.
As of right now I’ve been sick for a month; I’m recovering from a bout of pneumonia after having had the 2018 flu. As soon as I’m recovered, I have to catch up on things like getting my car fixed that someone thought it was okay to hit in a parking lot and leave. Over the past year and a half I’ve dealt with too many deaths to count, including having to put down one of my beloved pets of 15 years. I fell in love for the first time in over a decade and got my heart broken to pieces. I’m still wounded from that and doing my best to move on.
I suppose that one of the best things, if you can call it that, about being sick is that you can truly tell who your friends are and who really gives a shit about you. When people you’re used to seeing weekly or more don’t even bother to ask how you are doing, those are not friends. When someone asks what you need, those are friends. When someone actually goes to the store and gets you water and food to eat, those are amazing friends, and those are the type of people I want in my life.
I have said this before, yet still always managed to find it anyway, but I do not have room for bullshit in my life. I just want to be happy and loved and enjoy what time I do have left on this miserable planet.