A few months after I’d moved out of the house I shared with my husband, a couple of girlfriends that I hadn’t known for long invited me out for drinks with them one night at a sports bar. There was a man there about my age that was clearly drunk with some younger guys watching a game. He wore a scully cap, which I thought made him look like an old man. The first thing that came to my mind when I saw him was, He looks like an alcoholic. Then my friends introduced me to him. (I’ll just refer to him as “Dodger.”) Dodger was funny and nice, just drunk and loud at the time. I didn’t stay long and went home.
About a month later, I ran into Dodger a few more times. He was in much better condition, really fun to talk to, and we had a lot in common. We flirted once, then I thought he disappeared, so I did, too. Dodger and I didn’t run into each other again until right before the Christmas holiday. We started to hang out and get to know each other more. He seemed like a great person, but not someone I could see myself with long-term. I was so newly single and knew I didn’t want to deal with anyone’s shit, but having a friend was something I needed. The truth was, I didn’t mind the company, especially during the lonely, dreadful holidays.
Although paperwork had been filed, the judge hadn’t yet signed my divorce papers, and I certainly wasn’t ready for a relationship. Dodger and I dated for about two and a half months. He took me out on a real date once – to dinner at a sushi place and his favorite bar. I often cooked (expensive) meals, and he stayed at my house more than his own. The next “real” date we were supposed to have was at a comedy club. We ate crummy food at a crummy bar he liked, and when we got to the comedy club, it had been canceled at the last minute. We ended up going to a nightclub that I hadn’t been to in ages, but was known for the “older” crowd when I was in my 20s. Almost no one was in the place, but we decided to stay since we were dressed to go out. We ordered drinks and had a good time, but when the check came, things got weird. The bill was like $70, and Dodger only had $30 on him. I only carry credit cards, so I picked up the majority of tab including the tip. Nothing was ever discussed about the difference after that.
The last date Dodger and I went on was supposed to be exciting. I had seen Elton John in concert before, so I knew how great his show was. I asked Dodger if he was interested in going, because I would see Elton again if he did. He said sure, he’d give me the cash for his ticket, since he didn’t have credit cards to purchase them, and he’d drive and pay for parking and dinner the night of the concert. So I purchased the tickets. We had dinner at my house, because we ran out of time to go out. I drove. I paid for parking. I bought my two beers during the concert. And then Dodger acted like a douche the entire night. He walked really far in front of me on our way in, even crossing the street before I could allow cars pass to cross myself. He pouted inside the entire time, was super antisocial, didn’t act like he was having a good time at all. I was pissed that I’d spent all of this money going to something I’d already seen just so this man-child big-baby asshole could ruin the night. Of course Elton was great, but the rest of the experience sucked.
Then about a week later, Dodger lied to me, and I caught him red-handed. He was acting very strange and had been since the Elton incident. He’d gotten paid that day and claimed he was doing laundry (at a laundromat) and would be over. He was going to get some takeout and asked what I wanted, so I told him sushi. When he showed up he just about shoved the bag of food in my face and acted all pissed off and said he had to go back and pick up his laundry. I was like what’s wrong, what happened? He didn’t really say much and said he had to get his laundry, he’d be back.
Knowing that the laundromat was a 20-minute round trip at the most, forty minutes had gone by and no Dodger. I called him, he didn’t answer. I waited ten more minutes, still nothing. This was very unlike him. He finally called back saying he’d just gotten home and was tired and going to stay in. We hung up. My intuition told me something wasn’t right. I just knew it. His favorite bar was only about a mile from my house, so I jumped in my car and lo-and-behold, there was his truck sitting in the parking lot! Busted! While I was sitting in the parking lot, I took a photo of his truck and texted it to him, assuming he was inside the bar. He came running out, lying that I misunderstood him. I didn’t want to hear it. In my mind, I was done with him. But I happened to be moving into a new place the following week and needed his help, unfortunately.
The following day, beginning around 7 a.m., Dodger started calling me apologizing. I didn’t answer, let it go to voicemail, heard his crackling sorry ass voice and still didn’t want to speak to him. I had to work anyway, so I just let it go to voicemail all day. He sounded pretty worried, as he should have. I did nothing to deserve his shitty treatment. When I arrived home, Dodger had left a dozen red roses at the door, along with a sappy card. While it was a nice gesture, I already knew that a man like him wasn’t going to last in my life, because I’d never trust him again. I did end up speaking to him again, and yes, still hanging out like usual. But I didn’t feel the same.
Two days after the Laundromat Lie incident was Valentine’s Day. We visited a park and took a walk on the beach. He claimed he wanted to take me out to eat that evening, but he didn’t. He considered his “sorry roses” as my Valentine’s gift. I hadn’t realized those two went hand in hand.
Dodger helped me move from the house I was renting to another location, so there was one redeeming quality about him. The new place was about 10 miles farther than the two miles he used to live down the road from me, and I don’t think he liked the drive even though it was closer to his job. Then one day he just stopped communicating with me out of the blue. I wanted to end it for sure so I contacted him telling him how I felt and asked him for the money he still owed me for the Elton John ticket. He was a dick to me and hung up on me, saying he didn’t have the money (even though he was sitting in a bar while he was on the phone).
Dodger had only given me $100 towards the $160 ticket. He kept dodging me and even blocked me from his phone when I’d ask him about it each payday. I mean come on, he couldn’t spare $20 a check to pay me back for HIS ticket?? So I contacted him through Facebook and told him I could really use the money he still owes me for the concert ticket. His reply?
“You want me to pay for a date we went on two months ago?”
What a prick.
Two months later, he moved in with a girl his daughter’s age and knocked her up. Better her than me! I’m glad I never ran into him again.
Free The Burden 