Dating Mr. Mixed Messages – the Final Rose?
After watching last night’s episode of The Bachelor and seeing two women get their hearts broken after being told by Arie over and over again how much he is in love with them (at the same time), I realize if you give a man too many choices, he can’t make up his fucking mind. Newsflash: Women are not menu options.
A few months ago I met someone through friends. It was the first time I’d even considered dating anyone after Orange Crush, so it was a big deal for me to open myself up to someone and be seen in public on an actual date. I wasn’t sure at first how it would go, because of being so doubtful about relationships, so I kept my safe distance. On two separate occasions, once after a two-week separation from him being out of town, Mr. Mixed Messages told me he had missed me. I was surprised to hear it coming from him, because I wasn’t sure how he felt about me, and I didn’t think he was that into me.
Mr. Mixed Messages and I had the rare opportunity (due to his obligations) to spend some quality time together over a weekend. We had a great time going out for dinner and drinks, watching bands, playing games with friends, and snuggling in the cold weather. We had some intimate talks and moments that I thought made us closer. For the first time since Orange Crush, I was excited to finally move onto someone else and, well, crush those feelings for OC. I could see that I could easily develop feelings for Mr. Mixed Messages and eventually maybe even love again in time. But as he was leaving that weekend, I didn’t know if he just wasn’t feeling well (he had a bad cold) or if he had changed his mind about me. I asked him when I’d see him again, and he said the following day. But I had a hunch that may not happen.
Then I did something stupid. I had a few too many beers and got emotional and sent Mr. Mixed Messages some mushy text messages relaying my feelings. Normally, I would never do that, because it was too soon, BUT it was my true and honest feelings. Besides, after Orange Crush, I had decided I wasn’t going to waste time holding back on how I felt only to have the rug ripped from under me again. I don’t regret sending those messages, but I think Mr. Mixed Messages took it the wrong way.
Instead of waiting to hear from him, I texted Mr. Mixed Messages some casual chat the following day and apologized for the beer-induced mush from the night before. He said he would talk to me later. Later came along and I didn’t hear from him. I tried some casual chat throughout the day, but I felt as if he was blowing me off. I wanted to know NOW if he was, because I certainly wasn’t going to waste anymore time, and I refuse to chase after a man. I never did see him that evening, so again I asked, when am I going to see you again? He said Wednesday, which was two days later. I decided to leave him alone and see what happens, give him some space.
So what happened? Nothing. I never heard back from him. Clearly, he wasn’t into me as he acted or told me that weekend. I figured if he wanted to see me, he’d make the effort to at least keep in touch.
I saw Mr. Mixed Messages at a place we both frequent, and he ignored me. I wasn’t about to put myself out there to make the first move only to be rejected. After all, he’s the one that stopped contact. Then I saw Mr. Mixed Messages a couple more times the following week. On these two occasions something really fucked up happened. He said hello to my friends sitting right next to me, hugged them, looked me right in the face, and said nothing. Yes, that’s right. Nothing. Everyone around that witnessed it thought it was a dick move, and no one could understand what the hell his problem was, because I had done nothing wrong. It felt cruel and undeserved, so I let him know in a text, asking him what the hell was his problem and what did I do to deserve that. He ended up turning the whole thing around on me saying I’m the one that didn’t contact him, that he sent the last text – and he sent me a screenshot of him saying “Wednesday,” that it takes two, he didn’t want a relationship, and to basically have a nice life. Wow.
So not only did Mr. Mixed Messages send mixed messages, he wasn’t even man enough to speak to me like an adult, playing games like a middle school girl. I reminded him that if he didn’t want a relationship, he should never have pursued me and led me on, and I don’t chase after men that clearly aren’t interested in me. Since, I have yet to revisit one of my favorite places, because I don’t want to see his face anymore. It’s obvious to me now that he has some pretty big issues to be such a jerk. Not someone I need in my life.