About a year and a half ago, I’d met a 49-year-old guy on Tinder that seemed nice. He wasn’t the type that I would normally go for, but everyone kept telling me to try something different. So I did, but the result wasn’t any better.
Since I’m a really outdoorsy person, we agreed to go fishing on the first date – and Three Strikes was supposed to teach me how to fish. I had bought a new purple fishing pole (my favorite color) and hadn’t been able to use it. We met at a loading dock and went off on his boat. He was very personable and I felt safe, but I wasn’t sure if the attraction was there. He talked a lot about his mother, which should have been a red flag. Either way, I’m up for having fun and making friends if nothing more is there. We weren’t out for very long before the clouds moved in and moved us out of the water very quickly. By the time we got to the dock, it started pouring, so we sat in his truck to wait it out so we could retrieve the boat and our belongings inside.
What I didn’t know was that Three Strikes had left my brand new fishing pole on the dock instead of leaving it in the boat, and someone stole it. He was very apologetic, and I said no big deal, it can be replaced. He claimed he’d replace it, and I didn’t have a doubt that he would. We hugged goodbye and kept in touch.
On the second date with Three Strikes, he was on his way out of town, and we met at a cafe for lunch. Something I ordered gave me a sudden allergic reaction. I still don’t know what caused it, but it was a scary feeling that I had to let subside. Three Strikes seemed understanding, but then he said something really freaking stupid. He asked me if I was sure it wasn’t menopause, because of my age. WTF.
At the time I think I was only 43 or 44, but I looked at him like he had three heads and told him that I wasn’t quite up there yet. I thought it was rude for him to even suggest that, especially since he really knew nothing about me, but I still wasn’t feeling well enough to process it. I told him I know my body, and I know the difference between an allergy attack and something hormonal. I forgave him, since I figured most men say stupid things to women anyway.
The third strike came shortly after the menopause comment. Three Strikes, always coming from out of town or leaving and seemingly elusive, decided to stop by my place to say hi. It was probably 80 degrees outside, and I may not have had my a/c running, but I had fans and was comfortable indoors. However, I was dressed appropriately in shorts and a tshirt for the weather; he was in jeans and a long sleeved shirt. We were chatting (probably about his mother lol) and drinking a beer. He started sweating profusely and suddenly had to leave to let out his dog. As he was walking out the door, he said, “Your house is really hot.” I was a little taken aback by his comment, because it just came out of the blue. Again, I didn’t process his comment right away, but once he left I realized I should have suggested he was going through menopause.
After that, I decided that Three Strikes was enough. Not only did he never replace my fishing pole as promised (even after telling me he’d bought one), but his insulting comments were red flags. There was no physical attraction whatsoever at that point, and we hadn’t even kissed. Not a loss. He texted me a couple of months later, but I’d already deleted his number and had to ask who he was. When he sent a selfie on his boat, I never responded and never heard back from him again.