Why I Don’t Date Cops
When I was in my late 20s I ended up in a phase of dating cops. I guess it started when I came out of a very short but abusive relationship and had to have a restraining order on the person. For whatever reason, I suppose dating cops made me feel “safe,” but I couldn’t have been more wrong. For the most part, every one of them turned out to be liars and cheaters. One in particular turned out to be married with a pregnant wife, even though he claimed he’d never been married. Not too long afterwards, he turned out to be a dirty cop and ended up getting fired and having his name all over the local news.
Recently, I was using the Bumble app to meet people for outdoor activities. I matched with someone that had common interests, but we lived a distance from each other. After chatting with him for a while, I decided I wanted to meet him, because he seemed genuinely nice and said sometimes he comes to my area. He also happened to be a police officer, which usually would turn me off, but he seemed very unlike the typical arrogant nutty cop.
We arranged to meet at a sports bar, and I was immediately both comfortable with and attracted to him – which is really unusual for me. We had a lot in common that I don’t find in other people, and the connection was strong. He complimented me and built me up, told me how much he likes my energy and we agreed that we were both equally connected to one another. He told me how much he liked my artwork and that he’s an art collector. I was also impressed that he’s more intelligent than a lot of men that I meet – that he actually reads books and believes in many of the same spiritual things that I do.
I hadn’t felt this way since I dated OC a year ago, which worried me. I was worried, because I don’t want to be hurt again, and the worry grew when all Sgt. Flip wanted to do was text me and never speak to me on the phone. Now, if someone is working, I can understand if he cannot speak on the phone. But the times he wasn’t working he was busy texting me instead of having a real conversation like an adult. Then it just annoyed me that a middle aged man didn’t want to speak to me for whatever reason but feigned interest in me. I began to notice he was either avoiding some of my questions or didn’t bother reading them or felt it unnecessary to answer me. Who knows. It was two days prior to the arrangement we had made for him to come visit me, and I still didn’t know if he was coming for sure or at what time. He just refused to call me, which I felt was completely odd and shady, and made me think he was with someone else – because that has been my past experience.
By then I grew frustrated, because I felt I was being played. I felt he was playing typical cop games, and I didn’t appreciate someone who supposedly liked me to treat me as such. I mean, how difficult is it to just call someone that you’re making plans to visit? I expressed my concern with him that I clearly see he was avoiding questions, and I was beginning to feel like he’s a typical cop and I don’t have time for games. I let him know that I was suspicious, as any woman would be.
He flipped a switch on me so fast, I thought it was a completely different person I was texting. I guess calling Sgt. Flip out on his bullshit and calling him a typical cop struck a nerve, because then he came back at me full speed. Instead of calling me like a real man would have to straighten out the situation, Sgt. Flip called me a “serial dater who blogs about her screwed up dating experiences like a wannabe ‘Sex in the City’ character.” He claimed he’d been completely honest with me and now I’m “throwing away a completely honest guy.” And then Sgt. Flip said this: “your writing is awful and your ‘art’ is even worse. Sorry, not sorry. You’re blocked.”
Wow. I wasn’t throwing anyone away – I simply wanted Sgt. Flip to call me the way a man who is truly interested in me and cared about me would. So I guess he was fake liking me the entire time and fake liked my art? I suppose he was faking that he was even coming to visit me at all, since he decided it was okay not to call me and have a conversation about it. I hadn’t even realized he bothered to read my blog, because he never once mentioned it to me… (which is obviously far from Sex in the City, since there is NO sex in my blog…) also making me wonder if he actually read the content.
I’ve been single for four and a half years after having been married for eight, so yeah, I date people, because that’s what single people do, right? It’s not like dating is fun. I just haven’t found the right person, and after this incident, I don’t really care to meet anyone anymore. It just seems like a lot of work, a lot of unnecessary games, and a complete waste of time and energy for a shitty result.
Anyone that knows me and truly understands me and my writing and all of the bullshit I’ve dealt with would never say those hurtful words to me. All of this all because I wanted a phone call, and Sgt. Flip couldn’t handle that. And that is why I don’t date cops.