A Run-In with King Nothing

Over the weekend, our town had a yearly event that my girlfriend and I went to. As soon as we walked into our first stop, King Nothing was standing there. I pretended I didn’t see him, but he purposely bumped into me. I wasn’t sure whether to hit him or twist his nipple (he wasn’t wearing a shirt), but I stopped myself and moved along. (He was the only person in the place not wearing a shirt, which made him look like a complete douche, but he thought he was hot shit.) The only thought that occurred to me after our last exchange was, does he really think I’m going to give into his bullshit? Maybe that’s what other women have done with him, but this one won’t.

As my friend and I were wandering around the place, King Nothing kept showing up near me, and I kept ignoring him… until I felt water on me. I turned around and saw that KN had a squirt gun and thought he was being cute squirting me over and over and over. My friend and I were about to leave anyway, but I thought what a perfect opportunity to dump out the end of my warm beer. As we turned to leave the place, KN was about 5 feet in front of me squirting away. I threw the rest of my beer on his chest, and the surprise on his face was priceless. Everyone else around laughed their asses off, which I’m certain embarrassed his king alpha status. He didn’t look very happy that his king alpha status had been succeeded by a woman.

In the meantime, we exchanged some text messages. Of course, I told him like it is, and he called me psycho. I let him know that’s a typical response from a guy that can’t have his way with me and knows that I’m right… and I’m the QUEEN of that. I haven’t heard back from him since. No big deal. I’m sure I’ll run into him again trying to impress a lady or two or four around town. Maybe next time he sees me he’ll put his tail between his legs where it belongs.