Last night I received a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying: Hey, we met a while ago… Do you know who this is?
Me: there’s no name in my phone so I guess not.
Them: Ok never mind
Me: So who is this
Them: a guy you met at a bar a while ago. But you weren’t interested then so you won’t be interested now.
Me: (laughing emoji) This has to be one of the funniest texts I’ve received all year.
Me: Okay so how can I help you and who are you
Them: Good. Okay fine no more games. My name is John. I’m 28 years old. I met you at (a place) about a year ago. I was interested in taking you out this week if you are free.
Me: The cop?
Him: Yep. Held on to your number.
Me: It’s been a year?
Him: I think? It’s been a while.
Me: Bored and going through your phone?
Him: Yes! I guess it’s a perspective thing.
Me: Interesting. So if you’re still 28 it hasn’t been a year.
Him: I guess you got me. It’s been a while though. Would you like to go out to dinner this week?
Me: I’m not exactly sure what you’re looking for.
Him: I’m looking to take you out to dinner and get to know you. Pretty simple. If you’re not interested I’ll back off.
Me: I mean what is your ultimate goal basically…
Him: I’ll just wait another year and ask again lol. I don’t know. It depends on how we click when we see each other. Ultimately I’m looking for someone to date.
Me: Well I’m flattered but I really need somebody around my age because I’ve already done the young thing and it just does not work for me.
Him: Well I understand. I’m disappointed because I’m a different person but I understand. I’m still in interested in meeting you. if you change your mind and want to take a chance let me know.
Me: I’m just busy working and doing some changes for myself.
Him: Okay I understand. You’re not interested. No big deal.
Me: And for future reference, I like to be contacted when somebody’s not bored looking at their phone.
Him: I was being sarcastic… trying to play along… guess it backfired. But I don’t think that was the deciding factor.
I reminded him that the age difference is a huge factor, because I don’t want to waste my time on something that won’t grow into anything more. And still, he kept texting after I had stopped. Too bad these guys aren’t this persistent when it comes to actually having a relationship work rather than just trying to date someone hoping to get some booty, because that’s exactly what it’s all about. I’ve been through all of this before, and I am over it.
Him: I understand and respect the explanation.
Him: I tried.
Him: It would have been fun. Life is too short.
Okay, so now he’s really overreaching, attempting to guilt me into something I don’t want to do. I don’t appreciate manipulation, and that seems to be my experience when meeting men of all ages. He’s right about one thing – life is too short, especially to go on dates with people that you have zero interest in.
I’ve had many of the same experiences with men and can vouch for your perspective. Thank you for sharing this.
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Thanks for the comment!
Zero interest is the thing. I have had these types of experiences with many, many younger men and the trouble I get myself into, is that I am actually really attracted to them (well let’s focus just on those for a moment) but we are each looking for something different. I give them chances because I am attracted to them, and that’s a mistake. As you say, no-strings sex is usually what the under 30s want, but they dress it up as something more, and they mess you around with meeting or dates, mess you around with contacting or regular communication, and just plain mess you around. That’s the tiresome part – not even that they want NSA (which in my past 5 years was totally OK) – it’s the constant messing around and lack of respect for a busy, intelligent woman. In our cases, someone who has better things to do than wait around by our phones for some ‘deleted number’ to text. Funny how Xmas time is often when they pop up again too!
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Oh wow, I love what you say here! I don’t think I could have said it better. I went thru my younger dating phase but I need mental/emotional stimulation as well… and they just don’t cut it.
Who has time to wait around? Not me. It’s boring and tiresome, as you say. But I have found that many of them are under 50 still acting this way. It’s amazing the immaturity of some grown ass men.