Before anyone gives me their bright unsolicited political opinions, let me just say I’m on neither side of the fence. I’m straight in the middle. But against my own beliefs, I gave some people the benefit of the doubt to get to know in the dating world. What a mistake and a waste of time that was!
Looking back, I realized that most (if not all) of my bad dates were indeed Trump fans. Specifically, Kiss Fanatic, King Nothing, Pig, Frat Boy, Mr. Volatile, Redneck, Mr. Retired Military, and even some of the guest blogger/anonymous submissions – Drunk Cowboy and Racecar Driver. On paper, these guys seemed great. In person, they were complete douchebags.
And then there’s a more recent one that I met thru Bumble that I’ll refer to as Toe Ring, because he had a toe ring. He also knows about my blog, so if he’s reading this, I’m pretty sure his asshole is puckering. We had an amazing first date at a new sushi restaurant neither of us had yet visited. He was courteous, kind, and well-mannered, and he even gave me a flower when I showed up. I thought that was an extremely sweet gesture. Our conversation was great and flowed easily. After sushi we went to get a few drinks and talked some more and decided to head to my house to wind down. We kissed a few times and ended up falling asleep on my couch. It was very innocent and nice and different from most dates that I was used to. But it was short-lived.
Toe Ring and I were supposed to go to dinner one night but I was extremely tired and asked for a raincheck. The following week, Toe Ring came to my house (he worked late) after work just about every evening, brought some beers and ended up getting shitfaced every single time. I began to think he had a drinking problem and told him so. Not only that, but he started getting aggressive and grabbing my boobs and acting like a total asshole. The first time it happened I blamed it on the alcohol, but he did it again. Then he started pressuring me for sex after I had made it clear I wasn’t going to do that unless I’m in a relationship. I reamed him about it, telling him it’s really disrespectful and nothing like he acted on the first date. Besides, we’d only been on one actual dinner date, and the rest of the time he just crashed at my house.
I had to keep reminding Toe Ring that I’d like to take him up on that raincheck for dinner (even takeout would have been acceptable at some point), but he was either always working late or had some other excuse… or was too busy getting drunk at a hotel bar an hour from my house. I was also convinced that he had another woman or two on the back burner in case we didn’t work out. I would ask him questions and he would dance around them without actually saying yes or no every single time. I mean, maybe he wasn’t actually seeing anyone else, but I had the gut feeling he was probably texting or sexting other women. So I didn’t exactly trust him.
Still, Toe Ring insisted on seeing me when he got off work, but after a week or so, I started to get bored with the routine of watching him get shitfaced and keeping me up late, groping me, pressuring me for sex, and using my house as a motel… and then letting the alarm go off two or three times at 5am because he had to work. Then one evening he started talking about needing someone to go to his house early in the morning to wake his kids and take them to school… and I thought holy hell, this guy just wants a woman around because he needs a babysitter. NO WAY!
Valentine’s Day rolled around, and I wasn’t expecting to hear from Toe Ring, but around 8pm that evening he asked me if I wanted to go out and do something. Right… at 8pm. At that point, I was already out with my gay friend (since I knew he wouldn’t try to fuck me) and was so annoyed at the fact that if Toe Ring really wanted to see me, he’d have planned it ahead of time. He insisted on seeing me, because he doesn’t give a damn what I want, just his own selfish wants. By the time I saw him, it was 9pm, and we live in an area where dinner closes around 10pm. This time, I had already been drinking, and this time I was the shitfaced one. I don’t even remember going back to my house, but I do remember being sober enough that I slept in my leggings and sweater that I wore out that night, because I wasn’t about to allow him to grope me or try to have sex with me again. When his alarm went off at 5am, he got up and wanted to have sex. Again, I was disgusted by his behavior and lack of boundaries and told him no way. He said, “Just give me six minutes,” and I woke up out of my slumber and about lost it.
He’s really lucky I didn’t have a grenade in my hand at that point, because I’d have stuck it in his pants. I was fuming that he had zero class and zero respect for my feelings, my needs, and my boundaries. When Toe Ring left, I couldn’t get back to sleep, which made me fume even more, so I sent him a barrage of text messages telling him exactly how I felt and letting him know what a selfish asshole he was and how fake he was by acting all normal and decent on the first date instead of being his normal dickhead authentic self. He ended up apologizing that he’s sorry it didn’t work out. And then about a week later he sent me another message apologizing again about it not working out – but not about his horrible, shitty behavior. If he were truly sorry, he’d have taken a hard look at his behavior and did something about it. With that being said, I can’t be sorry that it didn’t work out, because I am the same person I was on that first date with nothing to hide that tolerated far too many things that I should have let go the first time it happened.
I don’t normally bring politics into my dating life, but after meeting these awful guys, I now see I need to… that I have to ask some prerequisite questions even before the conversation starts. And the one is: “Are you a Trump Fan?” because it will save me a lot of aggravation in the long run. I can be friends with just about anybody, but I’m not sharing my life or my bed with a Trump Fan ever again, and I’m definitely not letting any of those assholes grab me by the pussy!
Great post 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, it sounds like you give a guy too many second chances. I am not a Trump fan, but I live in Italy now. Tulsi Gabbard seems great. You should date someone you meet at one of her rallies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I agree about giving too many second chances. I’m not remotely interested in politics either way, but I am interested in equality and women’s rights, which seems to be on the opposite spectrum of the Trump administration.
The perspective of how this story is written is comical. To lump everyone in a particular political party is just silly! Talk about closed minded.
Note- I only ever read your blog because it was important to you!
Note- I did not try anything with you the first night even though you brought me back to your house!
Note- we always drank together!!
Note- I was working crazy hours on that project and found time to go to you.
Note- we sent sexual texts to eachother opening the door for sex, I just walked through!
Note- if you ever try as hard at a relationship as you are being demanding and judging others, maybe you’ll actually have a relationship work!
Good luck to you-
Sincerely, Toe ring guy!
It wasn’t just a political party; it’s Trump fans in general, because I find them to be deplorable in their actions. Your “notes” are irrelevant now, and I don’t even feel that you warrant the time for me to address them, since I had forgiven you after this. And you have never taken the time to address the real issues I had with you… a pattern you have is to ignore anything that matters to anyone else but yourself.
And guess what? I ended up giving you – not two – BUT THREE chances after you were a jerk each time. I admit full on that I am at fault for that, because I should have written you off long ago. You should actually be in sales, because you talk the talk, but the rest is all bullshit. Seeing you out with another woman while you were pretending to only be with me was the last straw. You are exactly who I thought you were and didn’t listen to my intuition.
Thanks for showing me your true colors early before I became too involved and got severely hurt again. Men like you are a dime a dozen. I’m looking for the diamond in the rough!
Wow. Good call, Susanna. I think Mr. Toering’s post here underlined your points about him very well.
I respect your decision to be apolitical when it comes to dating. Actually, I think being a Trump Fan has little to do with politics in the conventional sense, so ruling out Trump Fans isn’t exactly a political choice, either.
I have conservative friends who deplore the man for his amoral behavior. I met an avowed liberal who voted for him because he hated Hillary. When someone says they are a Trump Fan it is very different than if they are saying they are a Republican or a Conservative. Trump is an unapologetic misogynist and bigot who speaks out loud what some people have been thinking but were too ashamed to say. Sure, he’s using the Republican machinery, but he doesn’t care about the politics.
While I am extremely political myself, I could see myself dating someone on the opposite end of the political spectrum. But I could never date a Trump Fan, because that’s not even on the spectrum.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL thanks for your comment, Ben! And I’ve seen Mr. Toe Ring out a few other times with other women. I can only feel sorry for them, because I’m sure he’s lying to them and playing games the same he did to me.
I love how you give names to the men you date. “Toe Ring” LoL.
I actually call him that to my friends when referring to him, because that’s how I distinguish the names. LMAO