The other day when I posted this blog about how horrible I was feeling, I felt slightly better after writing it. However, slightly isn’t enough to get out of a deep, dark funk. That same day, I had also taken my monthly B-12 shot, which usually helps with energy if nothing more, but it takes a good day or so to really be felt in my system.
It’s abnormal for me to walk around crying and unable to function or cope with everyday life, and it happens suddenly and spirals out of control. I am extremely self-aware of how my body feels and how my mind is affected. I feel dazed, unable to concentrate, extremely depressed and anxious, and extremely hopeless in a tunnel without any light. It’s a terrible way to feel. This is what depression feels like to me.
On August 26, I had my pre-op bloodwork done, and some things came back as “low”. I had to google the jargon to figure out what it meant, and it seems that both lack of iron (I have anemia) and B-12 are the culprits here. I am convinced that the lack of B-12 is why my depression gets really bad like it did the other day, because I can easily control the iron deficiency with a pill. These were my results:
After doing some research and also being extremely aware of my body and the things it does, I am convinced that much of my depression is due to a B-12 deficiency. Two days after taking my shot, I felt like a different person – like a cloud has lifted. Today, I feel even better. But this is only temporary, because my body tends to use the B-12 quickly.
Unfortunately, I am only prescribed one shot of B-12 a month, and even though I take oral B-12 as well, it’s not enough. I eat enough foods with B-12 also, so for whatever reason, my body just doesn’t keep this supplement. I contacted my doctor about the bloodwork and my concerns, but I have yet to hear back from her. It’s been 3 days, which I feel is too long to wait when I’m feeling helpless. The last time I told my doctor I think I need the shots more often, she said my bloodwork was fine. Well, duh, it’s fine right after I take the shot up until about 2-3 weeks later. By the third week, I’m low again, which is when they should be testing me. I mean, to me, it’s just common fucking sense!
The doctor also told me this – which I don’t believe, and think she confused B-12 with iron supplements – that too much B-12 isn’t good for me. Total b.s.! I have researched very reputable references that say the complete opposite. Yes, too much iron can harm you, but not B-12.
And here’s another issue – I email the doctor, because it’s usually easier to communicate, but it’s the nurse that generally answers. There have been times the nurse has confused communication to the point that I’ve given up going back and forth. Today I emailed again about my concern, since I hadn’t heard from my doctor. The nurse answers me and asks where I’m getting the B-12 injections, because my records are showing it’s a provider outside the VA healthcare system. WHAT!!!???!!!
OMFG, are you kidding me!! I do not have a provider outside the VA, because if I did, I wouldn’t be emailing about a fucking vitamin that I need to function; I’d be contacting a doctor that wouldn’t think twice about giving me a prescription for it. Jesus Christ! I’m not asking for pain medicine; I’m asking for a harmless supplement so I don’t kill myself! Is this why so many veterans don’t use their medical benefits, and is this why so many veterans are committing suicide? It’s simple shit like this that can drive a person absolutely batshit crazy.
This time I cannot give up. This is my mental health we’re talking about here, and if I need an extra shot a month, then I should get it. I see that I can get it online cheaper for a pet than for a human, even though it’s the same damn thing, and I can get it without a prescription. More total b.s., but I may have to do just that. It shouldn’t be this difficult to solve a simple solution!
I am someone who also suffers from B12 deficiency. I also have vitamin D deficiency and the iron deficiency like you.
My doctor told me that it’s almost impossible to get too much B12. He says unless you’re doing something stupid like swallowing an entire bottle of B12 supplements a day, every day, for a two week straight period then your B12 supplements are not going to harm you in any way.
I also understand what you mean completely when you say you feel like a different person after the shot. That’s how I feel too. I have only ever gotten two shots but I remember feeling like a whole new person when I did. These days I’m just taking the supplement and I definitely notice the days when I dont take it.
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Thanks for your comment! I’m glad I’m not alone in this. I still can’t understand for the life of me that my doctor thinks I could overdose on B-12. Even if I had two shots in one week, it wouldn’t be an “overdose”.
I am not sure where you are but 7+ yrs ago, for no known reason my pancreas ruptured. Since then I cannot absorb nutrients in any normal way, and I don’t do that well absorbing pill medication either. I am always deficient in vit d, a, b12. My thyroid is also always way way off… And it effects my mood and energy.
My husband found vit b in a pill that dissolves under your tongue similar to baby aspirin. He found at Costco but I would bet you can find them online. I take it with a low dose of vit d daily.
Just wanted to let you know 😊
Hi, thanks for your reply. Your situation sounds very frustrating!
I have done both the pills and the liquids, but it’s not enough for me, which is why I take the shots.
It is that for sure💛
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