Medically speaking, nothing much has changed since I last posted. The biggest concern is weight loss and lack of appetite, even though I force myself to eat. Otherwise, life has remained the same, except new medication allows me to sleep better, as well as awaken without wishing I was dead each day. Life is bearable... Continue Reading →
My Creepy Neighbor Without Boundaries
Now that I’m sober, I didn’t think I would gaslight my creep detector until I recently found myself in an uncomfortable and vulnerable situation in the privacy of my own backyard. This is something I needed to discuss in counseling, because it was a traumatizing experience. No matter how much I think I set boundaries,... Continue Reading →
Weekly Meltdowns over a Broken System
It seems that every single week I’ve had to deal with some absolute bullshit that I shouldn’t. And each time, I’m getting closer and closer to winding up in a psych unit, because I cannot deal with the stupidity of the system on my own. Over and over and over again, I have asked for... Continue Reading →
Fair-Weathered Friends are Depressing
Last year, a woman new to the area reached out to me on a job app. Naturally, I was extremely skeptical of anyone contacting me online, because of scams and other agendas. Once I established more information about her, our conversations came easy; she’s looking to make new friends, because she’s been stuck inside for... Continue Reading →
My Brain vs Reality
In my head, I am hiking the Appalachian Mountains or jumping out of an airplane this year for my fiftieth birthday. In reality, I’ve been unable to take a walk on the beach for a year. Last week’s trip to the ER revealed I had a vasovagal attack, which basically made me feel like I... Continue Reading →
All of My Male Friends Are Perverts
When it comes to my health or anything affecting my life, I have finally learned to be firm, assertive, and direct in order to get my point across to people who just don’t get it. If I have to raise my voice in a room full of people, I will – because I am done.... Continue Reading →
Sobriety is not why I’m angry
(Note: It’s taken me a week to write this, so it doesn’t reflect today’s much lighter mood. Today was the first time since last summer I was able to run errands in multiple places without feeling sick or like I was going to pass out. Yesterday, I did a bunch of work around the house... Continue Reading →
Still Undiagnosed
I started writing this last week: Most physical activity is a catalyst, which sucks, because I cannot get the exercise I need. Doing simple yoga stretches triggers painful spasms, so I sit and cry, because I don’t know if I will ever be able to do normal things again. I feel like my quality of... Continue Reading →
I Think I Have MS
I have attempted to write this for a few weeks, but my concentration is limited and patience short. Since reporting all of these issues to my PCP last summer, I figured I’d be doing great by now, living a normal life. Boy, was I wrong! At this point, I am in fear that I may... Continue Reading →
Another Trip to the ER
At the moment of this writing, I am not feeling well at all. After having a few good days last week, that’s all I’ve been granted. Since keeping a food diary, I’ve noticeably grown super sensitive to foods that never particularly bothered me before or that now affect me on a whole new level. Some... Continue Reading →