Real therapy work is dark. It can be enlightening, frightening and yucky. It can bring up forgotten trauma. Part of being serious about therapy and healing is being honest with yourself. Being raw and real and unafraid to express feelings. A lot of what I say may hurt others, may worry others, or may help... Continue Reading →
Mental Health & Being Overmedicated
(**NOTE: I made some changes to my website, which removed all of my followers and subscribers. You can resubscribe now. Sorry for the inconvenience!) Being sick and in solitude for two years has put a lot of things into perspective, particularly my relationships with people in general. More importantly, I’ve unearthed parts of myself that... Continue Reading →
Perhaps It’s Epstein Barr? No One Knows…
Medically speaking, nothing much has changed since I last posted. The biggest concern is weight loss and lack of appetite, even though I force myself to eat. Otherwise, life has remained the same, except new medication allows me to sleep better, as well as awaken without wishing I was dead each day. Life is bearable... Continue Reading →
Ignorant People Add to My Solitude
When someone is sick or injured, they typically have a support system to help them through it. The lack of empathy I’ve experienced from a few family and friends during this time is appalling. People who lack empathy cannot relate to others, and have no business giving advice. I cannot handle the stress they bring... Continue Reading →
Health Food Store Employees Are Not Doctors
Since I have little energy to spare, I choose to interact with very few people. Simple interaction with people that I do enjoy being around is tiring, but not draining. Still, I can only take a few hours of that, and not for days in a row. Something like a (positive) visit from a friend... Continue Reading →
Insomnia & a Lit Up Brain
Imagine a dim room that’s been lowly lit for several months and suddenly lights up very brightly. Everything is so clear and bright, like a day without a cloud in the sky. Those lights stay on for several hours or days or weeks, maybe even months. Sometimes they dim for a few hours, but they... Continue Reading →
My Brain vs Reality
In my head, I am hiking the Appalachian Mountains or jumping out of an airplane this year for my fiftieth birthday. In reality, I’ve been unable to take a walk on the beach for a year. Last week’s trip to the ER revealed I had a vasovagal attack, which basically made me feel like I... Continue Reading →
A Year Later – Undiagnosed & Life Sucks
Two weeks ago, my best friend died. I lost something I truly loved and loved me back. My cat – the only consistent thing in my life for 12 years – was my emotional support animal. I miss him so much, because there is no one I can come home to when I’m having a... Continue Reading →
All of My Male Friends Are Perverts
When it comes to my health or anything affecting my life, I have finally learned to be firm, assertive, and direct in order to get my point across to people who just don’t get it. If I have to raise my voice in a room full of people, I will – because I am done.... Continue Reading →
Fuck Your Advice
There are a few things I really need to get off my chest before I go apeshit. I realize people mean well (or do they?), but it does NOT help to be bombarded with useless information suggesting why I’m sick or how to get better. This is serious shit, not a stomachache or a common... Continue Reading →