What Divorce Can Do To a Woman

broken-heart-shapeI’ve been going through a lot of emotional bullshit lately. Even though it’s been final for eight months, divorce is like dealing with death. It’s a series of grief processes. I’m up one minute, down the next. I try to keep telling myself this is good, everything will be okay, but then I sober up and feel the pain again.

I try to keep myself laughing by looking at cute and funny things – things like comedy shows and cute kitten videos. And then I start missing the animals I had to leave behind. My dog. My cat. I feel as if I’ve abandoned my children. They were my babies. I know they are left alone quite often; they used to be with me almost 24/7, because I worked at home the majority of the time. I find myself bawling at the thought of never seeing them again.

I laugh one minute, cry the next. It’s a fucked up rollercoaster.

Divorce can destroy a woman’s heart forever – make her never want to open up to another man again. It can make her feel unloved, unappreciated, unattractive, and underestimated. It can cause her never to trust again.

Divorce can force a woman to seek others that give her the attention she yearns, but not always the right type of attention, and often attention that turns into more hurt. It can make her question her ability to satisfy a man. It can make her wonder will she ever be good enough – for anyone?

Divorce can make a woman cold, cause a void that can never be filled.

I used to be such a loving, caring person.

I’m not that person anymore.

I can never and will never be someone’s wife ever again.

American Airlines = Worst Flying Experience EVER – for Pets, too

It didn’t surprise me when I heard that American Airlines was rated one of the worst in the industry. It made me laugh out loud when I read that it was one of the most hated businesses in the U.S., because in my opinion, it’s true.

Whoever designed the seats on American Airlines’ Boeing 747 apparently did not have comfort on their list of qualities. I have taken two flights on this plane cross-country and have never in my life been in so much discomfort – and pain. The seats are designed to curve inward – a very unnatural way for any human to have to sit for any amount of time. After doing some research, I see that I’m not the only one that feels this way about American Airlines seating.

This is a seat the goes back all the way. Imagine sitting for 12 hours in a seat designed like this that does not. Notice how the headrest leans forward. With the seat upright, your head leans forward for the entire flight. Even with the seat reclined your head is tilted forward.

And let me tell you – I weigh less than 130 pounds and am a size 6, so at my size I should have had plenty of room to move, right? Not on American Airlines. The first time I took this airline I ended up in the center seat. There is ZERO leg room. By the end of my flight I was literally in tears because I couldn’t move and was becoming numb from the waist down.

The second – and the last – time I flew American Airlines I thought I was lucky to get an exit seat, because they had far more leg room. However, the seats in the first exit rows do not tilt back. The seats in the second row do, but guess what? Mine was broken. So you have to sit tilted forward in the same way the seats are built.

Of course no one at American Airlines seems to give two birds on a naked pony fence about customer service. I informed the flight attendant of the broken seat, and I got a mere thank you for letting her know. No upgrades, no nothing.

Something else I didn’t know about exit rows is that they are freezing cold. I’m talking big, grown men are freezing cold sitting in them as well, and if you’re on a night flight, you can guarantee super freezing cold.

No food, water, or bathroom break for 22+ hours for your pets with American Airlines.

But my very worst experience during my last ever flight with AA was flying with my pets – 3 cats and a large dog. First of all, flying from Hawaii with a large dog has its limitations, so AA is only one of two airlines that will accept them. Upon leaving Hawaii, first we were told that our dog weighed too much and would have to fly cargo. This wasn’t the case when we flew into Hawaii, however. Then we were told that our dog’s crate was not large enough and that it would be cruel to allow him to fly with it. Now this is a crate that was purchased 5 months prior and arrived in Hawaii without any issues. Our dog is about 7 years old and didn’t grow within those months. He was able to stand up and turn around perfectly fine – and to be honest, he had more room in his crate than I did in my seating area on the plane. We were stuck leaving our mostly new crate with AA and purchasing one of theirs for another $99. The other issue is that the size of the crate wouldn’t fit on the flight we were scheduled to fly, so the dog had to be shipped to separate locations and on separate flights. Cha-ching!

Because of the crating issue, our flight had to be changed and was 7 hours off schedule. If you’re counting hours that our pets sat in the crates, yes, so far the cats – which had already been checked in – had been sitting in their crates so far for  a total of 7 hours without food and water. They were scheduled to be watered and fed within 12 hours of our layover. All in all, we flew and had layovers for more than 22 hours. Our pets sat in crates for 22+ hours, and when they arrived through the gate to us, it was very obvious that no food or water had been given to any of them. The food had been taped to the top of the crates and was INTACT when we arrived. Their water bowls were dry as a bone. It was obvious the dog had not been let out to pee as instructed. I was furious.

I never made a formal complaint to AA because the entire ordeal was simply exhausting. Plus, I figured all I’d get is an apology letter which really wouldn’t make a difference to me one way or the other. Blogging is the best way to allow people to know which airline not to use when transporting pets. Never again will I fly my pets on any airline, and I will never fly American Airlines myself again either.

“American Airlines sucks!” yelled the cat.

Less Allergies in Hawaii? Not.

OrangeBloss_wbI don’t understand why people think that when you move to certain areas you have less allergy problems. It depends on what you’re allergic to. I just had more tests completed and a new list has arisen, in addition to my old ones:

*oranges
*mustard
*brewer’s yeast (goodbye, beer!)
*molds
*dust mites
*weeds
*mesquite
*eucalyptus (tree, not sure if it’s the same as the plant)
*cats & dogs (no, I will not be giving up my babies)

On a scale of 1 to 5, each of these rated as a 1, the lowest. So it’s more like a 20% allergic reaction. A combination of these things increases it.

The orange allergy explains why my face keeps breaking out. I recently purchased a new line of skin care from Avalon Organics – all include orange. I loved the way it made my face feel at the beginning, but after a week or so my face was breaking out big time. When I applied lotion to my neck I itched until I wiped it off.

Dust mites is something that never showed up on other allergy tests, either. However, I’ve always had a suspicion, because when I’m in a dusty area my face and nose itch. Of course it doesn’t help that Idiot Neighbor is creating more dust.

As far as the cat and dog allergy, the doctor said that frequent vacuuming and laundering will help that.

So between the noise pollution, the new allergies, and the stress of moving in general, I’ve been pretty miserable the entire time here. This is not what I consider paradise.

Moving to Hawaii – a dream come true

I guess you could say that the last year of my life has been one huge transition – and it hasn’t ended yet. Last year my husband decided that he wanted to retire this year – in Hawaii. When he asked what I thought about it, I said, “In your dreams.”

But he was serious. He’d lived in Hawaii as a child, and it was his dream to retire there. It sounded like a dream to me, too, because it was a place I’d always wanted to visit.

Me being the sensible one, I asked my husband how could we possibly make this happen? We’d have to sell our home in Florida during such a bad market and come out with money to move – not just to another state – but to the other side of the world! He said we could put the house on the market and see what happens. We put our good thoughts into everything and little by little, things slowly fell into place. We sold the house, vehicles, and had two garage sales. Nine months later, our plan was in motion.

Getting to Hawaii wasn’t quite as easy as that, however. We had pets, and each had to be microchipped and tested for the rabies FAVN virus, which took 120 days prior to arriving on the island without them having to be quarantined. Their records had to be impeccable, so finding a veterinarian that knew what she was doing was a big plus. Airfare isn’t cheap for pets, and neither are the airline-approved crates. There are many other factors involved in shipping your pets to Hawaii, but I will go into that on another day.

We kept one car that had to be shipped, so we were left without transportation for a period of time. We needed to pack everything we would need for at least a month, because our household goods wouldn’t arrive for up to 8 weeks.

Luckily for us, we already knew people on the island. Our friends had a spare bedroom and allowed us to stay with them as long as we needed until we found our own place. This was extremely helpful, as hotels in Hawaii are not for the budget-minded or pet lovers.

Everything was set to go. Our dreams were coming true.

hawaiilanding
Landing in Honolulu at sunset

Rep of Large Company Boasts About Animal Cruelty

The last few years have proven to be an age of outing. In recent news, several people in big companies and government agencies are being outed for doing or saying stupid, immoral, or illegal things. No one is perfect, and we all do and say stupid things – but there comes a time when watching what you say may cost you your job, reputation, or company’s reputation.

While I was having lunch in a restaurant the other day, there were two young women next to me that were difficult to ignore. Not only were we sitting close in proximity, one especially wasn’t the quietest chip in the bag. At first glance of the giant yellow company purse bag next to the woman sitting closest to me, I chalked it up to her having a lot of baggage. But then she announced what she does for a living. She represents a very large candy company with two initials – the one that sponsors a racecar driver – the one displayed on her baggage. I will refer to her as Miss Yellow Baggage.

I overheard the women’s personal issues and gossip about some people they knew, workplace drama about people being fired, the slight looks and whispers and giggles in my direction. I had to double check where I was because for a moment it seemed as if I were back in eighth grade.

While I didn’t get a very good look at Miss Yellow Baggage because she was primarily turned towards her friend and wearing a baseball cap, she was extremely loud – the type with a raspy smoker’s voice that certainly does not make for a nice, quiet meal. Miss YB boasted something so shocking and downright cruel that I will never forget: “I hate cats. If a cat is on the other side of the road, I will drive on the other side to hit it.”

I almost choked on my food, and it was obvious that she’d been heard, because Miss YB’s friend had been turned my way, noticed my expression, and whispered something about me hearing her. But Miss YB didn’t care. She just shrugged it off, snorted and laughed.

How could anyone think of doing such a thing to a harmless animal, much less boast about it in a public restaurant? I thought of my own baby kitties and how I had to bury one of them last year when he was hit by a car (perhaps Miss Yellow Baggage was in the neighborhood?). At that point I was ready to leave. My stomach was upset and I didn’t even enjoy the rest of my meal. All I wanted to do was get out of there and away from this big yellow baggage monster, and so I did.

I knew that if she were telling the truth about purposely running over cats, that she is or has broken the law, possibly even committed a felony. I looked up the statutes and I was right:

Florida Statute:
828.12. Cruelty to animals
(1) A person who unnecessarily overloads, overdrives, torments, deprives of necessary sustenance or shelter, or unnecessarily mutilates, or kills any animal, or causes the same to be done, or carries in or upon any vehicle, or otherwise, any animal in a cruel or inhumane manner, is guilty of a misdemeanor of the first degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or by a fine of not more than $5,000, or both.

(2) A person who intentionally commits an act to any animal which results in the cruel death, or excessive or repeated infliction of unnecessary pain or suffering, or causes the same to be done, is guilty of a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or by a fine of not more than $10,000, or both.

My entire drive home I thought about how awful that experience was. I wonder what her two-letter company would think about that? So I decided I would out her on my blog.

See, what Miss Yellow Baggage did not realize is that she was not sitting next to some ordinary person eating her lunch. She was sitting next to a cat loving, animal shelter volunteer who also just so happens to be a writer – and one that isn’t afraid to out her.