Mental Health Self-Therapy Journal
It seems that every single week I’ve had to deal with some absolute bullshit that I shouldn’t. And each time, I’m getting closer and closer to winding up in a psych unit, because I cannot deal with the stupidity of the system on my own. Over and over and over again, I have asked for... Continue Reading →
Imagine a dim room that’s been lowly lit for several months and suddenly lights up very brightly. Everything is so clear and bright, like a day without a cloud in the sky. Those lights stay on for several hours or days or weeks, maybe even months. Sometimes they dim for a few hours, but they... Continue Reading →
In my head, I am hiking the Appalachian Mountains or jumping out of an airplane this year for my fiftieth birthday. In reality, I’ve been unable to take a walk on the beach for a year. Last week’s trip to the ER revealed I had a vasovagal attack, which basically made me feel like I... Continue Reading →
Two weeks ago, my best friend died. I lost something I truly loved and loved me back. My cat – the only consistent thing in my life for 12 years – was my emotional support animal. I miss him so much, because there is no one I can come home to when I’m having a... Continue Reading →
I had two good days last week. Two days a week is the most I’ve been able to get for the past few years. First, I blamed it on having heavy periods and other menstrual problems. I figured after a hysterectomy, my pain would leave. It hasn’t completely. Sometimes I feel as if I have... Continue Reading →
(Note: It’s taken me a week to write this, so it doesn’t reflect today’s much lighter mood. Today was the first time since last summer I was able to run errands in multiple places without feeling sick or like I was going to pass out. Yesterday, I did a bunch of work around the house... Continue Reading →
I started writing this last week: Most physical activity is a catalyst, which sucks, because I cannot get the exercise I need. Doing simple yoga stretches triggers painful spasms, so I sit and cry, because I don’t know if I will ever be able to do normal things again. I feel like my quality of... Continue Reading →
At the moment of this writing, I am not feeling well at all. After having a few good days last week, that’s all I’ve been granted. Since keeping a food diary, I’ve noticeably grown super sensitive to foods that never particularly bothered me before or that now affect me on a whole new level. Some... Continue Reading →
Considering I’ve isolated for the past year (and most of 2020) with minimal human interaction, I didn’t expect that I would talk so much at my first counseling appointment. The session was the initial intake via video with the VA psychologist. My morning wasn’t going so well, as I wasn’t feeling great physically or emotionally.... Continue Reading →
I began this writing a few weeks ago and have filled it in to update. Finally, I was able to speak to a VA counselor this week, and one of the first things I told her was a brief summary of Worst VA Doctor Experience. (The following day, I received a phone call informing me... Continue Reading →
Free The Burden 