Dodging a Bullet After Dating Mr. Volatile
I met Mr. Volatile when I went kayaking one day and got stuck in a rainstorm. His friend offered to help me out, and they had kids with them, so I felt safe enough. Plus, there were plenty of people around. Mr. Volatile was on his best behavior at the time, and it turned out he was 51, never married, and no kids. That should probably have been clue number one.
Mr. Volatile invited me to go boating the following day and the day after that, and another day we went to the beach. His friend was still in town, so I did notice the dynamic changed once his friend left. He had to look up something on his laptop, and when he opened it, porn came up. He blamed his friend, and I called him out on his bullshit.
By the third date, he kissed me for the first time… it was just okay. I was having fun hanging out and spending time with someone new. We had discussed some dating stories and knew some of the people. He knew King Nothing, but they weren’t friends. (In fact, he’s the one that told me about King Nothing and his harem of women.) But I also noticed when we were alone, he barely talked to me. He was on his phone the entire time we went to a nude beach one day. He didn’t even look at me, which I thought was odd, but he seemed very comfortable being butt naked in public. And when he got up from lying on his stomach, he had a hard on (which I also later confronted him about, and he denied it). He obviously didn’t get it from looking at me.
Some of the things about Mr. Volatile that seemed bizarre were: he only worked 3-4 days a month, there were no family photos or anything at all on the walls of his house, and all of his dishes and cups were plastic. He said he was a reserve pilot working a few days a month, but that doesn’t explain how he affords to live the way he does. I went to make food one evening and asked where his glasses and dishes were, because all I found was plastic. He said someone broke a glass on the tile once and it was such a mess to clean up that he got rid of all of the glass in the kitchen. Mmmkay. Oh, and did I mention he drove a windowless “kidnap” van?
I noticed a change in attitude and personality with Mr. Volatile when he was constantly watching Fox News and yelling about how great our horrible president is. I should have run away then. I also noticed that anytime I expressed an opinion, I was wrong and my opinion didn’t matter. And when I would suggest anything, he rejected. Looking back, I think I started to feel like I was walking on eggshells with this guy.
On the very last date, I was near his house and asked if he needed help with something he was doing. He said he might need help getting rid of “this girl” (also, he referred to all women as “girls”) that stopped by his house that was crying about her boyfriend breaking up with her. I was curious as to what this was about and who this “girl” was, but by the time I arrived, she’d left. Mr. Volatile then said he was hungry and suggested getting something to eat. I wasn’t dressed for anything too nice, and he has to give me notice to get ready for certain places, because I wasn’t about to go in my beach clothes to a nice restaurant. His response was bitchy toned: “I don’t make plans. I just go.” I said well a couple of hours notice would be helpful, to which he replied like I was asking too much, “No! I don’t do that. I don’t make plans! You women always take so long.” What. The. Fuck. I should have just left, but I was hungry.
We ended up going to a place he’d never been, but I had. I sat there trying to have an adult conversation while I could tell he wasn’t listening to a word I said and was too busy looking at every other woman’s ass. I stopped mid sentence, because I was annoyed. I also called him out on it, and he denied it, of course. After dinner he wanted to go to a bar that I didn’t care to go to. I’d been up since early that morning, had worked all day, went to the beach after work, and by then it was getting late. The last thing I wanted was to go to a bar that I don’t even like, but he said just a drink and see the band. Okay.
We walked to the bar, and immediately King Nothing is standing there with another woman, and they’re all over each other. Great. This was literally ON the day I posted the blog about him. I gave him the middle finger and kept walking. Then Mr. Volatile kept pointing out King Nothing being there and referring to him as my boyfriend, which was really fucking annoying… and he was acting really jealous. I reminded him that we went on three dates, and that I just don’t like being lied to and played, because he wasted my time that could have been spent doing something (or someone) better. I walked up to the bartender to get a drink… and paid for it myself. Mr. Volatile spent most of the time walking around, talking to other people, and leaving me behind. I told him I could tell that he was NOT into me at all… he denied it. So basically, I was nearly by myself at a bar that I didn’t want to be at buying my own drinks. Then about an hour or so later, Mr. Volatile disappeared. I texted him asking where he went, but he never answered me. He had actually left me there and went home!! I realized later that my text messages turned green, which meant that he’d blocked me from contact. The fucking nerve! I had to walk alone back to his house in the dark to get my car, and when I arrived, all of his lights were off and he had set my cooler by my driver’s side door. What. The. Fuck.
I should have done it sooner, because one of my friends is Mr. Volatile’s neighbor, so I asked her if she knew him. (Previously, he denied knowing her.) She said yes, he’s volatile and basically, none of the neighbors like him, because he’s so rude and nasty to people. Her husband says hello when Mr. Volatile walks by, and he just turns his head. Wow.
Two days after Mr. Volatile showed his true colors, I was at the beach with a girlfriend and had been telling her the entire story. He drove by in his kidnap van and smiled and waved, as if we were best buddies. What. The. Fuck. I don’t know if he realized it was me or what. I saw him again the following day but pretended I didn’t. I saw him again last night walking down the street with a woman and a kid. Good luck to her!
One thing I’ve noticed with these guys that can’t say goodbye or be an adult is that they block me when I call them out on their bullshit. Every time! But I guess I dodged a bullet with that volatile asshole. Next!